Reasons to become a BSN

Growing up, I had siblings with CF. To be simplistic on it's effects on the body, cystic fibrosis is a genetic disease that affects the lungs, panreas and digestion. One of my brothers passed away the year I was born but I vividly remember my sister as being my idol, but somehow always sick. She needed home breathing treatments, pysiothherapy, hospital stays and Dr visits.  Becky died when she was 16 and I had just turned 6. All I knew was that she went to the hospital and died. At my age, the reasons and education on why she died didn't make sense. Life carried on.

Nick was 25 when he died. I was 21. He was on the transplant list for a double lung transplant. Growing up, he was always sick and I asked why he always needed pills but never understood the answers I got from my parents. I loved Nick. He was full of life, full of love, had a smartass answer for everything and drove me crazy in ways only an older brother could. I wondered why he was sick when when I was older, I could finally understand why.

We all knew what was coming. The mortality rate for CF is 100%. To me, as a morbid young adult, the mortality rate for LIFE was 100% so why should we worry? I visited Nick in the hospital, saw him to go Dr visits and continued to think he'd be fine but I also saw his contidion get worse. I saw permanent IV ports being inserted, Saw more breathing meds and finally, saw him carry around an oxygen tank as a last resort to bring more oxygen to his starving lungs. I saw him leave to get a double lung transplant but also saw him come back later the same day because the donor had asbestos in his lungs or whatever the reason was.

The day did come and as I read Winne the Pooh to him as he lay in a coma in the ICU, we were all in a bit of shock. How could somebody so full of vitality, so full of a love for life ACTUALLY succumb to CF?


As a result, I saw hospitals as a place where people died. Or, where death was only prolonged. It was shooed away as long as we could scare it, only for it to return and take our family away, one by one.

Flawed thinking, I know but it's something that I fully believed in. With my limited life experience, why should I think any different? Becky, Michael, Nick, Grandpa had all gone into the hospital to die.

At 21, I guess that's all I knew.

I was in and out of the hospital myself and it was the most frustrating thing I have ever experienced. I had a bad gallbladder but everytime we looked on ultrasound, the stones would be gone and the Drs would scratch their heads, wondering what the source of my extreme pain was. I ended up in hospital every 2nd night, for months and no answers. Only a shot of morphine and the advice to come back if the pain returned. It did end up being my gallbladder and after hundreds of tests, shots of morphine and demerol an even a week long hospital stay with pancreatitis did one of those pesky stones show itself. Frustrating, to say the VERY least.

I've always believed that children will change your life... but I always believed that children will change your personal life, not your beliefs. Boy was I wrong. 

I had two babies. One in 2008 and another in 2011. Two boys and they actually showed me that hospitals are yes, where you go to die... that sometimes happens. They taught me that hospitals are where sometimes sick people go to get BETTER... sometimes, people go into the ICU (Ev had a frustrating stay in the ICU after birth where yes, they even tested him for CF) and they come out better than when they went in. Sometimes, people go into the hospital to create new LIFE.

LIFE.... families are formed in hospitals. Nurses and Drs come into hospital rooms to deliver GOOD news... sometimes, medications are given but not always are they to treat bad pain or sedate to ease the end of life.

I also learned that some pain is GOOD.... and with that knowledge I learned that to become a nurse is to spread this good realization to the world. To see families at their worst and sometimes at their best. I learned that with a lot of hard work. I can make an impact on the quality of a family or person's stay.

It's my duty.

Fall.

The trees in my area are already going yellow and gold here and there. Nights are cool enough to warrant a blanket and the fan has been turned off for the summer. It's FALL! (Almost)

Fall has always been my favourite time of year. Since I was a little girl, to me, fall has symbolized rebirth and new starts. I know that's backwards and that it's SPRING that symbolizes that and for a select few, it's even New Year's Eve, but for me, it's always been Fall.

Growing up, fall was the most exciting time of the year- to me, summers were a little lonesome. Friends fron the neighbourhood were on vacation, we'd go away ourselves once in awhile on vacation.  Summer was hot, boring and shot here and there with homesickness. Back to school time brought new school clothes (new shoes were the most exciting) and the return to school iteslf was amazing. The halls would be fresh and shiny waxed, the kids weren't weary yet, I hadn't lost the thermos from my new lunchbox or broken any of my new crayons.

This year, I'm returning to school agian. I'm 32 and this will probably be the last time. I'm beginning studies to become a registered nurse. The reasons why I'm aiming for my Bsn are huge and meaningful to me, but that's actually a separate post and I might be able to ramble on for a few pages.

I've heard that a bsn is  on of the hardest degrees to attain, with the hours, the essays and the vast knowledge involved. To be honest, that scares me. At this point, 8 days before class starts I could back out but I won't.

This tinge of fall in the air has increased my determination. I remember every school year. The new books, the new pens, the new hilighters and even sometimes the witeout that comes in the tape-dispenser thing. All small things but all things that make me excited and before you judge me, remember you probably have a dorky fetish as well! :) (bubble wrap? peeling the plastic off of new electronics? I know you have one!)

The leaves are gold, I've paid my tuition, I have paper and pens.... bring it on.

It's so hot. Yuck. Know how much I love summer? I think everyone around me knows how much I hate summer I mean, who wants to be hot and sticky all the time? I'm silently cursing everyone who complained "where's summer?" all springtime ;) I hope they all get a sunburn!

Now FALL-This is why clothing manufacturers make cute cardigans and scarves, cute hats and boots. Know what I mean? who WOULDN'T love fall? summer is yucky. In my opinion, summer is the worst 12 weeks of the year! humbug.

How as a family have we been beating he heat? Firstly, this may be TMI but I'm writing this on my blackberry, in a cool bath. Best pastime ever. We also have a pool in our townhouse's complex and we've been making near daily trips there before bed. :)

Air conditioning has been my saviour. The mall is lways deliciously air conditioned and am thinking that the inventor of the indoor playground has a special spot reserved, just for them in heaven ;) the kids play and Brian and I sit in air conditoned bliss.


Going to the mall a lot has opened up a world of opportunity to visit Sephora, of course. For me, no mall trip would be complete without it! even if it's just a trip to ogle. There have been a few purchases, some to gloat about, some not so stellar... I'll get to reviews in due time.

I've somehow broken my camera's SD card, so until get a new one, pictures will be limited.

This fall is bringing lots of change to Wiebeworld and Glitterbomb. Firstly, I've finally (yes, after talking about this for what, 7 years?) begun persuing my BSN. I'll be a Registered Nurse! of course, this will take a LOT of dedication and work. Doubly so since have two small kids. You know that feeling when you sit down to study and you're instantly THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON EVAR?! yeah, I've been getting a lot of that lately.

However, I'm partly doing this for THEM and their future, so as hard s this will be- it will be worth it in the end. 

As well, the return to school is giving me lots of reality checks ($500 for ONE course?!?!) but it will ultimately bring us lots of changes in the... uh... budgetary department. Not the easiest thing, and it's always easier said than done.

First Wiebeworld Budgetary challenge- get rid of the car!!! No, not sell it. We'll need it in the future and Paulybot is a good car- Just don't use it any more.

I did some math and turns out, the car was actually costing us a lot more than I'm willing to comfortably admit. Along with the monthly payments, insurance, maintenance and GAS- Paulybot was costing us over 769 a month!!!!!!!!    yeah, way too much when you take into consideration that we live on a major bus route and a monthly bus pass for Brian is $110. My student bus pass is included in my tuition and fees.  so, challenge accepted! we sall see how that goes.

We've put him into storage and I think this challenge will extend into November, depending on how it's going. If we find out that we actually do NEED the car, we'll reinsure it and get it back on the road. 

For now though, it's hot out and hate it.

I began this post on my blackberry months ago... and it was swallowed up by the internet until today. Why did it show up on my dashboard today? So odd. 


"I love the way Riley wiggles his toes like a happy bee when we cuddle at night. It's a trait he inherited from me, I guess.  I tend to wiggle my own toes when giddy or blissfully happy.


Life is... Going. Nothing exciting, nothing new.  So why write? Well, I don't know. Because I feel like I might have a burst of inspiration in the next 15 minutes and the prose will roll out of the keyboard to the screen? Lol probably not.

Evan and I went on  what initially was a 'treasure walk'. I had a bag for him to collect 'treasures' in and let him lead the way. unfortunately, Evan thought we we out to fnd REAL treasure, like pirates and he demanded a map. And  ship.  and a shovel to dig the treasure. He gets points for the imagination but loses a few for not being flexible. At ALL. In the end, he just led the way (directly into the forest) and I followed (directly down hill with riley in the stroller)  and we went on a walk, pointing out the cool leaves and rocks and squirrels along the way.  We found  cool hidden playground with an attatched telescope (like a ship!!! He got his wish)."


The post deserved to be published, simply for the fact that it fought the void of  the internet and came back to be published. Obviously, it was the post's destiny. :)